Relationship stress due to household chores?

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Survey confirms: Couples often quarrel over household chores

Living together is not always easy and often difficult as a couple. According to a recent survey by the market research company Gfk, couples are arguing the most about household chores.

The GfK survey commissioned by the magazine "Baby and Family" comes to the conclusion that more than a third of the more than 1,3000 people interviewed who are in a relationship regularly get into trouble with their partner about the household. The couples apparently cannot agree on the distribution of tasks in the household.

Couples most often quarrel about household chores In the GfK survey, 36 percent of the 1,353 respondents over the age of 14 stated that the distribution of household chores repeatedly gave rise to arguments. Because of the budget, the Zoff faces all other possible causes of the dispute, which the respondents also mentioned in the GfK survey. In second place followed with 23 percent of the anger that the partner worked too long and immediately behind with 22 percent the dispute caused by financial worries. In addition, the different ideas about how to spend their free time together often give rise to arguments (20.2 percent). In the "Baby and Family" magazine, psychologist Karin Jacob advises that despite the many possible causes of the dispute, certain rules of the game must be observed so that children do not end up being the victims of their parents' conflict.

Do not involve children in parents' disputes. Parents should make sure that children are not involved in the dispute or even made an arbitrator. The adolescents have to be made absolutely clear: "This is our argument, you have nothing to do with it and you are not to blame," emphasized Karin Jacob. According to the expert, it is also important that at the end of the dispute there is a conciliatory conclusion that signals to the child: "We still love each other". In this way, the children also get to know the constructive side of the argument. However, certain issues should be completely taboo in the presence of children, the psychologist advises. Karin Jacob recommends that topics such as separation, financial problems or intimate couple difficulties should not be discussed in front of the children.

Family therapy to improve communication? If the dispute over the distribution of tasks in the household turns into a serious stress test for the relationship, a trip to the couple therapist or family therapist is also recommended for the couples concerned. If necessary, certain topics can also be discussed here with the involvement of the children, and the couples can be given opportunities to develop a sensible way of dealing with constantly recurring issues. In family therapy, the quality of communication between family members plays a crucial role in order to achieve the goal of positive change and development of relationships between family members. (fp)

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